1.Penting atau tidak kah keperawanan saat ini?
first of all lets talk about the virginity itself. as u know the female virginity is based on two anatomical myths.
the first myths is about blood. it tells that the hymen breaks and bleeds the first time woman has vaginal sex. in other word if there is no blood on the sheets afterwards, then simply a woman not a virgin.
the second myths is logical consequence of the first. since the hymen is thought to break and bleed,
people also believe that it actually disappears and lost forever.
and all of those myths have lived on for centuries because they have cultural significance. and
it has been used as a powerful tool in the effort to control woman's sexuality in about every culture, religion, and historical decade. woman are still mistrust shamed harmed if they dont bleed on their wedding night. other woman are forced through degrading virginity checks, simply to obtain a job to save their reputation or to get married. woman are so afraid not to live up to the myths about hymen that they choose to use a virginity quick fixes such as surgery or fake hymens. this like telling girls that no deed can be kept secret, that their bodies will reveal them,
no matter what, and it endowed them with fears. girls are afraid of ruining themselves, either through sports or sexual activity. we have curtailed their oppurtunities and their freedoms.
and
now lets breaking down those two myths. many people seems to believe that the hymen is some kind of a seal covering the vaginal opening, that fragile easily destructible and u can rip through, like a plastic wrapping. but the
hymen is nothing like a piece of plastic. in fact its more like a scrunchie or a rubber band. hymen is a rim of tissue at the outer opening of the vagina, and usually it has a doughnut or a halfmoon shape with a large centra hole, and
its varies. it can consist fringes, several holes, or lobes. and that is what makes it so hard to do the virginity check. because the hymen is like a scrunchie in function as well as in looks, it means u can stretch them. so does with the hymen,
its very elastic.
and for alot of woman the hymen will be elastic enough to handle a vaginal intercourse without sustaining any damage,
meaning it will simply never bleed from sex. it doesnt matter if youre a virgin or not. for other woman they hymen may tear a bit to make room for the penis, but that wont make it dissapear, but it may look a bit different from before.
in other words, some virgin bleed but some simply dont. and since hymen come in every shape and form, it is difficult to know if a dent or a fold in it is there because of intercouse, or if its just a normal anatomical variant.
you cannot look a woman between her legs and read her sexual story. and you probably wonder what the alternative is, for if we cannot use the hymen as a proof of virginity for woman, then what should we use. if you really want to know if a woman is a virgin or not,
ASK HER!. but how she answer that question is her choice.
but honestly all this virginity context comes from something much deeper than a simple misunderstanding about the hymen. its more a question of cultural and religious control on woman's sexuality. and that one is hard to change. and now afer all of this and u still asked :
" is it important for a woman to stay virgin? "
i would opt to say nothing.
our body are just for ourself. we dont need any permission or approval on what is "
important" by our
society. i mean most of women already face body insecurities (thanks for the pre-assumptions society) and we were raised to feel ashamed of what we have. and now what? u still want to put burden on us by the so called "virginity".
now if u really love the girl, if u really want to marry her, and spend the rest of your life with her, would u dare on shaming her and make her feel bad about themselves? thats the question u should really think about.
2. Solusi dari hamil di luar nikah
3.Bagaimana hubungan ke depannya, tentang pasangan yang Married By Accident?
for this two question i cant say much about it honestly. its more of personal choice on life and how they overcome it. and im not in position to comment on this. what i know, marriage is not something you ever take for granted. you have to work at it everyday. a good marriage does not just happen. it requires a concentrated effort on the part of both partner.
and always remember, anything worth having (baby, marriage, love, family etc)
is worth working for.
primrose